It is a blustery day at the cottage

The sun is higher in the sky than usual

I had trouble sleeping last night

The waves are so high

I think I might get splashed out here on the dock

But I don’t mind

A little cool water on my legs

Would feel good with the sun warming my back

It is supposed to rain later today

The remnants of a hurricane

I am meditating on the fruit of the Spirit

And today is joy

But I am thinking of rain

Not just the kind that falls from the sky

But the kind that falls in our lives

Even at this near-perfect spot

My favorite place on earth

I am not immune to rain

Disappointing news to start my day

A severe case of hives that landed me in Urgent Care yesterday morning

Instead of on this dock

Now on steroids to clear the hives

But they always make sleep near impossible

Little wonder that the things that finally broke Job

That had him cursing the day of his birth

Were physical ailments

Only he didn’t have Prednisone to help it heal

And he had already lost everything

Grief piling up on grief

It is so easy to look at life through the lens of sorrow

Our stories are constantly interspersed with pain

The betrayal of a friend

A hope that is smashed to pieces in a moment

A “no” answer from God

Even the endless itching of hives

Yet we are reminded

That the joy of the Lord is our strength

That isn’t hard to see

When the sun is shining

I am feeling well

Things are going my way

But it is much harder to live out

When things don’t go our way

Yet isn’t that when joy is most needed

When it is most like Joy?

And not its third cousin twice removed, Happiness?

I have a lot on my list to do today

My heart heavy with sadness over things

Some I can name

And some I cannot name

How do I find joy in the busyness of life?

In the unexpected setbacks?

The interpersonal dramas?

In the dark valleys?

Joy is my name

You’d think I’d be better at it by now

That fruit of the Spirit which most resonates with me

And yet seems elusive on the hardest days

The neighbor shoos a bunch of ducks off his dock

Likely annoyed that we feed them sometimes

And so this beach has become their favorite spot

Impacting the neighbors on both sides

So many of the choices we make

Impact someone else

Sometimes in ways we can’t foresee

Innocently

Other times perhaps in ways we know deep down are selfish

Born of our own insecurities

But we can’t experience joy

When we are harming our neighbors

Even when we do it without malice aforethought

There is an unselfish quality to joy

An other-ness

Something that must be shared

Joy cannot exist in a vacuum

But joy is at its best in the storm

I know joy is a fruit of the Spirit

So it cannot be manufactured

But as a fruit, it can be nurtured to grow

Cutting out the diseased branches to make room for new growth

Nourishing the soil in the rich nutrients of God’s word

Resting in his presence and the sunshine of his love

And yes, even watered by the rain of suffering

Ironically I got hives from weeding

Trying to do my part to help make the cottage nice for the next person

As Margie and David work so hard to make it nice for us

My plant allergies did not react well to that particular task

The histamines, as always, overreacting

But the desire to do something for someone else

Was a good desire

So easy to get wrapped up in our worlds

Failing to be part of the larger world

The times in my life I have experienced the most joy

Are times I served someone else

On a mission trip to Haiti

Teaching a drama class at a girls’ reform school

Cleaning the kitchen after my husband cooks a meal

I have also found joy in doing things

I was made to do

Giving thanks to the Creator for his good gifts

Performing in a Shakespeare company

Singing in a praise band

Taking photographs

Teaching a workshop for teachers

So if joy is others-centered

Service-oriented

And found as I exercise the gifts he has given

What are the thieves of joy?

Thanklessness and a desire to control, I think

I need to let go of the things I can’t change

So very many things

Out of my control

And to be thankful for all the good gifts he has given

Thankfulness is Joy’s sister, after all

The neighbor is trying to sail his small sailboat on this blustery day

The wind pushing his craft backwards from where he wants to go

Help me not to push against your will, O God

Help align my heart with that which is true and good and beautiful

Help me focus on others, on service, on thankfulness

Giving up the illusion of control

Using the gifts you have given in whatever ways you allow

Is it possible to dance in the rain?

I have done it before

It is one of those permanent memories

Wearing the Elizabethan costume

With its full skirt, and tight bodice

The performance canceled

Too late to find shelter in the huge field

Needing to stay off the flatbed trailer turned stage

As it was a lightning magnet

All we could do was dance

But I was younger then

Younger and more carefree

I had not failed yet

I had not been betrayed yet

The disappointments had been relatively few

Is it possible to dance now?

I have a friend who makes it a regular practice

And she has weathered worse storms than I ever have

The sun has come out

Just before it sets

Lighting everything in its path with light so warm it makes everything it touches glow

Reflecting off the lake

So bright I can’t look at it

It is as if heaven opened for just a moment

Tears spring to my eyes

Reminding me

God is good

All the time

And that is the ultimate cause

For joy