What if…

Two small words hold so much power

This morning they served me well as I imagined a setting for a story

The one I need to write in the next two days for a writing competition

Less concerned with winning and more concerned

With flexing my literary muscles

Excited to see I’d been randomly assigned

Science fiction

As a genre, I love imaginary worlds

Full of what ifs

Letting my imagination run down possibilities

In real life

What ifs

Are more problematic

They speak of doubts and regrets

What if…

I’d stayed on my diet and was 50 pounds lighter than I was last year?

What if I had not said those words without thinking?

Chosen not to respond to that email?

What ifs haunt me from the past

A bell reverberating long after it has been rung

What ifs also speak of fear

Worst case scenarios

What if Abby is harmed on her study abroad?

What if I get sick and can’t come visit her?

What if Nathan’s assistantship falls through?

What ifs taunt me from the future

Fear and regret

Eat up too much of my time

I don’t think God wants me to live in either place

Stuck in the past

Or afraid of a future I can’t see yet

“In repentance and rest is your salvation.” (Isaiah 30:15a)

I know my past is paid for

Why is letting go so hard to do?

Forgiving myself as hard as forgiving others

Sometimes for the smallest of errors

I can’t change it

So what good does it do to dwell on it?

“In quietness and trust is your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15b)

I know I can trust Him

He’s gotten me through hard things before

Fear of the future makes little sense

In light of the goodness of God

His trustworthy and unchangeable character

“Choose this day whom you will serve.” (Joshua 24:15b)

I can’t change the past.

I can’t control the future.

But I can live in the now.

I think sometimes like a spoiled child

I toss aside the gifts under the tree

Opening up the next one and the next one

Not pausing to enjoy the one I just now opened.

I can choose the healthy today

Even if I’m a long way from where I want to be

Tomorrow I will be one day better off than I am now

I can let go of my what ifs

In the constant tug of war between past and future

Letting go of the rope

Refusing to play the game

What if…

I lived today for today?

In 50 days my future would look different than it looks right now

Changing not only my future

But my future past

Regardless of what else comes

Ironic that perhaps

The choice this day

Of whom I will serve

Is really the only thing with the potential to change

The past, the future, and the now

In one stroke

This day is a gift

Breathe it in

Don’t worry about the heat wave that is coming

Enjoy the cool lake air of this day

Thankful for a chance to write a story

Choosing to find joy in now

Instead of stressing over the things left undone, unsaid, or pending

This day has about 16 hours in it

Some I have already spent

Imagining new worlds

Now to live well

With the hour that is before me

Carefully opening the package under the tree

Taking time to examine it from every side

Putting it to use

A good gift from a good God