The lake is a mirror on this last morning

Still, with almost no sound

Even the birds seem like they are keeping their voices down

The whole world covered in gray

Gray sky

Gray water

A gray mist covering the opposite bank in shadow

A lone duck floats out

Looking like she’s barely moving

Though I know more is going on

Underneath the surface

And isn’t that true of most people?

That there’s more going on underneath?

More than we can ever know

Here at the cottage in the quiet of creation

I have listened

Peering underneath the surface of my heart

I’ve not always liked what I have seen

I saw a statement yesterday

I’ve seen it before

Attributed to Spurgeon

“We are too prone to engrave our trials in marble and our blessings in sand”

I used to try and cover up my trials

With thanksgiving

Like burying a body in a shallow grave

At the first sign of rain, the trauma is uncovered

The power of positive thinking is a myth

A vacuous thing

Grief must be faced

But it also needs to be released

I wonder what would happen if I reversed things

If I wrote my trials in sand

And my blessings in granite?

Still acknowledging the hurt of loss

But moving on in joy

Why am I so afraid to let go of loss?

Afraid that if I appear joyful

The enemy of my soul will double down his efforts

To bring me down?

Afraid that my joy will exonerate the wrongdoers?

The truth is I can trust in a God

Who counts my tears

With him, none of them are wasted

Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances

For this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Not be joyful some of the time

Not give thanks in positive circumstances

But give thanks in ALL

Be joyful ALWAYS

And in between is the only thing

That makes it possible

Pray continually

I feel joy sitting on this dock one last time

It is not the giddy joy I feel when I ride the boat

But a deeper, soul-satisfying joy

Born of rest and sleep and time

I’m also looking forward with joy

To seeing my daughter

Back from Guatemala

How she cared for people

Whose eyesight was dimmed by cataracts

And after surgery, they could see

I wonder if the key to grace

Is the same thing as the key to joy?

Writing others’ wrongs against me in sand

And writing all that is good in granite?

Can I be someone who shows others

That kind of grace?

The very grace that God himself has showered on me?

Lord, help me write my trials in sand

And my blessings in granite

Grant me a joyful heart

A heart at peace

Help me show your love to others

By offering them outrageous grace

Not holding their sins against them

But wishing for them only good

For you, O God, turn darkness into light

You, O God, turn mourning into dancing

You, O God, turn graves into gardens